Danny Meyer, Founder & CEO of Union Square Hospitality Group, is one of the most successful restaurateurs in history. His impressive portfolio includes legendary New York City establishments like Gramercy Tavern, Eleven Madison Park, The Modern, and Shake Shack. In his book Setting the Table, Meyer shares key business principles that major gift fundraisers and managers can easily apply to their work. Here are a few invaluable lessons from his approach.
Hiring for Emotional Intelligence
Meyer emphasizes that successful staff performance hinges on both technical skills (49%) and emotional intelligence (51%). While technical skills—such as managing a CRM, downloading reports, or conducting prospect research—can be taught, emotional intelligence is harder to instill. In fundraising, this emotional component is about reading people, building relationships, and reacting to them in meaningful ways.
Meyer highlights five core emotional skills to look for when hiring: optimistic warmth, intelligence and curiosity, work ethic, empathy, and self-awareness. Fundraisers who naturally exude warmth, friendliness, and kindness tend to thrive. They build strong internal relationships with colleagues and form deep, strategic connections with prospects—leading to significant gifts.
Enlightened Hospitality
At the heart of Meyer’s success is his philosophy of Enlightened Hospitality—the idea that putting employees first empowers them to serve customers exceptionally well. This ethos can be directly applied to managing major gift fundraisers. The turnover in the nonprofit sector is high, so treating your team with care is essential. This means giving them the tools they need to excel, reducing unnecessary friction, and creating a supportive work culture.
For example, ask your team what obstacles are preventing them from reaching their goals, and work with them to remove those barriers. Encourage growth by offering professional development opportunities, like attending CASE Conferences. By creating a positive environment, you’ll foster happy employees who, in turn, will cultivate happy donors—leading to bigger gifts and more engaged board members.
Meyer also stresses the importance of creating memorable experiences for guests—something that can translate seamlessly to donor stewardship. Exceptional fundraisers make donors feel special throughout the cultivation and stewardship phases. Whether it’s a personalized gift or an unexpected token of appreciation, these small gestures create lasting impressions. For instance, I once organized a hospitality suite for a donor and his family at a university homecoming hockey game. We filled the suite with framed photos of his time as a student-athlete on the basketball tean, and he was delighted. These moments build loyalty and deepen donor relationships.
Turning Mistakes Into Opportunities
One of the most powerful lessons from Meyer’s book is his perspective on handling mistakes. He calls it “writing the final chapter”—turning a potentially negative experience into an opportunity to exceed expectations. When something goes wrong in fundraising—such as a donor feeling neglected in the stewardship process—it’s crucial to go above and beyond to resolve the issue.
For example, if a donor complains that they didn’t hear about their scholarship recipient this year, take the opportunity to apologize and organize a Zoom call with the scholarship recipient. How you address these situations can leave a more lasting impression than the mistake itself. Empower your team to handle such challenges with grace, ensuring that every donor feels valued and appreciated.
Constant, Gentle Pressure
Meyer also advocates for applying “Constant, Gentle Pressure” to his staff, encouraging managers to set high standards and hold employees accountable in a supportive manner. As a leader in major gift fundraising, it’s essential to consistently push your team to excel. Challenge them with questions like, “Could we ask for more?” or “Should we move up this ask?” A little pressure, when applied thoughtfully, can help fundraisers elevate their game—leading to bigger and more frequent gifts.
By adopting these principles from Danny Meyer, major gift fundraisers can build stronger relationships, enhance their management strategies, and ultimately achieve greater success in their fundraising efforts.
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